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> Cow Urine As Soft Drink :lol: :lol:, Height of Indian Stupidity
post Feb 23 2009, 09:13 PM
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Indian inventors create a 'healthy' soft drink... made from cows' urine
By Mail Foreign Service
Last updated at 4:31 PM on 11th February

Here's a drink for the true connoisseur - a new soft drink made from cow urine.
Indian inventors have spent months concocting the brew which (they claim) doesn't smell and will have a pleasant taste.

It's also meant to be very healthy.

Quite how makers at the Hindu nationalist movement have accomplished this using waste products remains something of a mystery.
The drink has been devised by the Cow Protection Department of the Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh (RSS), who are based in Hardwar, one of four holy cities on the River Ganges.

Rather coyly, they've called it 'gau jai,' the Sanskrit for 'cow water' and say it is in the final stages of devlopment.
It is currently undergoing tests and should be launched by the end of they year.

Om Prakash, the head of the department, said: 'Don't worry, it won't smell like urine and will be tasty too.
'Its unqiue selling point will be that it's going to be very healthy. It won't be like carbonated drinks and will be devoid of any toxins.'
He added that it would be cheap and good competition for the American cola brands, which are popular in India.
'We're going to give them good competition as our drink is good for mankind,' he said.
'We may also think of exporting it.'
Gau jai is made from a blend of cow urine mixed with a medicinal and ayurvedic herbs.

The RSS, founded in 1925, claims to be the biggest Indian nationalist society with eight million members.
Its aim is to wipe out foreign influences in India and to promote its Hindu ideology .

The cow is sacred to Hindus and the RSS has already promoted its urine as a cure for everything from liver disease to cancer.
Killing the animals is illegal in most of the country where their waste products are often ingested in rituals to 'purify' members of the lowest.

Another hilarious story.


Guns for those who fire blanks
Matt Wade in New Delhi
February 20, 2009

IF YOU want a gun in Shivpuri, it helps to get the snip.

Manish Shrivastava, the administrative head of Shivpuri, a district in central India, has come up with a unique offer to boost the number of sterilisations in his jurisdiction: any man who has a vasectomy will have his gun licence application accelerated.

"There is a fetish for arms and arms licences in this area and at the same time the male vasectomy figures are dismally low," Manish Shrivastava told the Herald. "I have simply clubbed these two things together and got a very good response."

Last year there was a dramatic surge in demand at local "family planning camps" where sterilisations are performed. Patients could fill out gun licence applications while they waited.

"We have done about 150 male vasectomies in the district over the past year compared with an average of six or eight previously," Mr Shrivastava said.

For centuries, Shivpuri district has been notorious for its gangs of bandits, known locally as dacoits, and many locals feel safer if they have a weapon.

"Some people in villages are worried about their security, so they are very interested in arms," said Dr H.S. Sharma, the chief medical officer in Shivpuri district.

However, the scheme is embroiled in controversy because some of the newly sterile gun lovers say the promised licences have not been granted.

"I underwent the operation only for the gun licence," Lalit Gupta told the Hindustan Times. "The announcement appears to have been a trick."

Mr Gupta said he wanted the licence because he often has to travel to "dangerous places".

Mr Shrivastava admits there have been delays because police checks are mandatory for applicants. But he promises the licences will be issued to those who qualify.

"The goods will be delivered," he said
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post Feb 24 2009, 02:35 PM
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Seasoned Ayubian

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From: peshawar
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Class of 2008 I am Ayubian

Cow Dung as a radiation Shield

Even if the enemy carries out its threat to bomb us with nukes, we don’t have to panic,” Radheshyam Gupta told a press conference in Lucknow, “because we have sacred cows to help us. You can fully protect yourself from nuclear fallout by covering the roof of your house with cow dung. And applying sacred cow dung paste to your body from head to toe will serve as an extra shield.”
Gupta, a spokesman for the Uttar Pradesh Cow Protection Commission, was speaking as tensions with Pakistan over the status of Kashmir threatened to escalate into a full-scale conflict. “Our commission’s primary mission is to prevent the slaughter of gaumata, the mother cow, which all Hindus regard as holy. But we also promote sacred cow products like urine and dung, which have powerful medicinal properties. Ordinary people cannot afford expensive protective clothing against radiation, so they need to be informed that sacred cow dung will protect them against nuclear fallout, and also from radiation burns. And luckily we have a limitless supply of sacred cow dung in this part of India.”
The RSS (Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh, a powerful Hindu nationalist organisation) has given its backing to the campaign, but scientists remained sceptical. “Sure, if the bomb drops, you can cover yourself in cow @#$ if you want to,” said one, “but you’re going to die anyway.” (Navyug [India], 24/6/02. Spotter: Brian Ewen)

The flag that refused to burn

By Renu Mittal

AGRA: Like the obstinate and ziddi General Pervez Musharraf, even the
Pakistani national flag refused to oblige much to the disappointment of
angry Shiv Sainiks who assembled in Agra. Outside the Mughal Sheraton Hotel, where the Media Centre had been put up, Shiv Sainiks staged a demonstration against the visit of the Pakistani President and the discussions on Kashmir.

With a battery of video cameras and photographers waiting to roll and click,it was a fiasco from beginning to end. The Shiv Sainiks had made a crude Pakistani flag which they tried to burn, but despite their best efforts the flag refused to catch fire. A second attempt was made but this too failed much to the disgust of all those present including the media which was urging the Sainiks to try again.

Then an enterprising photographer advised the demonstrators to bring
kerosene and light the flag. This too failed. The waiting policemen told
them that if in the next attempt it doesn't work, they and the flag would be packed off.

In desperation the Sainiks caught hold of a passing scooterist, made him get off despite his protests, took petrol from his vehicle, sprinkled it, lit the match... and wonder of wonders the flag still didn't catch fire.

In disgust the camera teams abandoned the shooting and as promised the police packed the Sainiks off the premises. Speculation has been on that maybe there is a message in this somewhere but people are still trying to figure it out.

This post has been edited by Imadafridi: Feb 24 2009, 02:38 PM
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